Do they think I was cooking stories or poems or any blah blah blah for the past 25 years of my life? Of course I want to write. And also I had a genuine interest in books. I had even crossed the stages of normal bookworm symptoms at certain times. But that had yet another reason behind. I loved and loves to read. Do that give a clue tat I am going to become a writer?Grrrrrrrrrr
True that i had participated in some of those stupid writing competitions. No way man, no chance for hand writing comp at all. I mean the normal trio. Short story, essay and poetry ( that too in the famous trio...Hindi, English, Malayalam). I was put in a room with a bunch of similar class bunk enthusiast and was ordered to fill at least 10 pages on a given subject with in 2 hrs. Ya, I had to do it. Otherwise the world would end.
And these crap things called words....they did some trick of their own. E one of them carries 10-20 meanings and each meaning had 10-20 of their own. I would just write some word and inject something related to the subject somewhere. The so called stupid judges will sit and try to digest what I wanted to say. Oh no, they are actually trying to find out whose write up they don't understand. A story, especially to school teachers ( sorry papa), is the best if the readers don't understand anything at all. If you understand anything, the writer is below your IQ quotient and is stupid. But if you don't, he is much superior. "Whooo....a little guy who arranged words so wonderfully that even I can't understand".....but dont worry. They wont ever agree that. Lucky for them (more to me if it is) that the for told THEORY of multiple meaning exist. They will find out something of their own from some words and make a new story connecting the remaining words to their own IMAGINATION to puke at the presentation ceremony.
Well this was funny.Once they asked me to write a poem on _________(dash stands for what i forgot). Anyhow I used the former strategy and played word jigzo. Hmm.....I was jus back after a trip from silentvalley were I met my first girlfriend ( oh god,let the predecessors forget their names in the roll (and ya, as usual she never knew she was my girl friend even ever after)). So I just added a line "I met her in the valleys of silence". Any how it was cool that the idiot of the day praised me as some one who can find her (for him 'her' carried some other meaning like a destiny or dream) in silence. Any how my sweet trip and girl friend became some poetic ambition which the poet (ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!) found at the shores of silence. And ya, these girls are ( I dont mean the girls who are reading this) often poet hunters. This crap proved depth tothem and brought me some popularity among them. Thanks dear judge.
So if you are some one going to try out a writing comp, take this tip from me. All you have to do is
- think of around 25 words which has got atleast a minor probability of visual relationship with the subject they throws to you. Put them into a templer.
- Now collect as many adjectives (hey these things like as,the, has, how,why etc are called adjectives itself na?) as you can and put them also into your templer.
- Of sorry, forgot something. You have tomultiply step one by 3. That is you have to put atleast 3 copies of step one words into the templer ( be care full about te templer's size).
- Now any other words to make the total number reach your deadline of 200. And ha dont use the 'f' word and similar so called offensive,vulgar and social stata chopping words in it if you are not at a comp conducted by think tanks. Don't worry, they like it as those word are the face mark of new age writing for them.
- Bond said " Vodka martini, shaken not stirred". But you got to do both. This is were you got to show your talent. The best shaken and stirred THING is the best in the comp ( Sorry no double meaning intentions).
- Now just pour it into your paper and congrates man you r the winner.
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